Parenthood and Self-Care

Parenthood and Self-Care

Self-care is the practice of tending to our own mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being. We have all heard about this concept, and many of us may be practicing it. But have you ever asked a parent, “When was the last time you took time for yourself?” As a parent myself, I understand the significant shift in lifestyle and the commitment it entails to raise children. As a result of the constant curveballs parenthood throws at us, it is no surprise that many parents are burnt out and overstimulated. Queue self-care. This is when self-care proves to be a beneficial and necessary practice to implement in our daily lives, not only for ourselves but for our children.

Self-care is essential for parents to take care of their well-being, which in turn allows them to be present and effective parents. Perhaps you are asking yourself, “Where do I find the time?” or you start thinking of all the possible tasks you can get done instead of investing in yourself. Luckily, there are various strategies for practicing self-care and many ways of implementing them into your hectic life.

Self-Care Strategies for Parents

Time Management

Establishing routines creates a sense of order and predictability within the home. Block out time for a quick workout, take a much-needed bath, or find time to read that one novel you bought some time ago, but now sits on your shelf gathering dust. You just might find a sense of peace, clarity, and even yourself in the process. One might ask, “How does one even begin this?” I’d like to reference Atomic Habits author James Clear, who suggests a simple yet profound advice: start small. Find 5 minutes to read a single page or take a 10-minute walk. Then, add on little by little every day as needed. You’ll be surprised by how much you’ve compounded over time, and the impact these habits have on your overall mental being. More importantly, these little habits create structure and routines, which provide your children with a greater sense of stability. So don’t wait and build that schedule!

Boundaries

Maintaining healthy relationships and your own well-being requires
communicating boundaries. Parenthood is a beautiful phase, however, there are exhausting moments that can overwhelm even the best of us. For this reason, establishing boundaries by saying no to others in an effort to prioritize our needs and those of our children is a healthy habit to practice. In fact, it’s highly encouraged to know when to say “no”. This may look like saying no to hosting a family event, staying true to the routines we’ve set in place, or limiting screen time (for ourselves and children). Boundary setting can help us protect our peace and energy, which is needed as we manage the array of big feelings that we, as parents, and our kiddos
may endure.

Support Systems

We’ve heard the saying “it takes a village,” and it is ever so true throughout parenthood. Leaning into our support system when we are feeling burnt out, overstimulated, or simply needing a break is a helpful lifeline. Often, we hesitate to reach out for help or to take people up on their offers to cook a meal, babysit, or clean our home; however, I have found that our loved ones are more than willing to lend a hand when they are able to. Perhaps you don’t have too many people to lean on around you, so you can search for parent support groups in the area that meet in person or virtually.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is learning to be in the present while acknowledging our
thoughts and feelings without judgment. Practicing mindfulness helps with emotional regulation, increasing self-awareness, and deepening self-compassion. In her book Raising Good Humans Every Day, Hunter Clarke-Fields shares mindfulness strategies like the 4-7-8 breathing method or incorporating your senses to be mindfully present during mundane activities like household chores. She reminds us that it is beneficial to practice mindfulness in front of and with our children, which fosters their ability to cope with feelings of distress in a healthy and effective way.

Sleep

There is no doubt that a night of restful sleep can be the cure we all need.
While parenthood cuts into the much-needed z’s, making an effort to sleep early might just be what the doctor ordered. In an attempt to catch up on our own interests or even trying to watch one more episode on Netflix, don’t forget that getting good sleep helps our body and mind recover. So, just as we hold the bar high for our own kids to get their much-needed rest, let’s also remember to model this as well.

Seek Therapy

Speaking with a professional can be an empowering experience, one
that allows you to receive support in a safe and non-judgmental space. Here you can engage in self-exploration, discuss the ups and downs of parenthood, and release any other pent-up stress. Seeking outside support to help you grow as a person will have a positive impact on you as a parent as well. Now that you have taken some time out of your day to learn or remind yourself of the importance of self-care, I encourage you to put these strategies into practice. A gentle reminder: as you begin to incorporate self-care into your daily life and the feelings of guilt creep in, remember – we cannot be attuned to the needs of our children if we do not show ourselves love and compassion.